I've been doing cross country running for a few years now. Some of the hills I run in become fire hazards with dry weeds in the summer. One of the places I run is now fencing off sections, and filling them with a few hundred goats to clear weeds.
While I'm running, one sneaky little goat slips under the make shift fence, and makes towards the woods. Seeing as how we have pumas all over the place, I figure the little bastard is mutton.
I run a bit further, and there's this guy who seems to be tending the zoo so I stop and tell him, a little goat got under the fence and is heading into the woods.
"No English", he replies.
So me being my obnoxious self, I speak slow, and try a series of hand gestures. "The...little...fucking...goat...crawled...under...the...fence"
The sick bastards laughs and says "Fucking little goat? Chickens are better"
What a sick fucker!