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> > TOP TEN REASONS FOR BEING DUTCH > 1. You can get arrested for growing plants, but not for smoking them. > 2. You can make jokes about the Belgians and still drink their beer. > 3.a. You can legally kill yourself > 3.b. You can legally be killed > 4. You're exactly like the Germans, except that nobody hates you. > 5. You think you are a world power, but everyone else thinks Copenhagen is > your capital... > 6. You get to insult people and defend yourself by saying it's a > national tradition. > 7. You can put your finger in a dyke and it will save your country > 8. You live in the most densely populated country in Europe, and still > you've never seen your neighbours. > 9. If the economy is bad, blame the Germans. If a war is started, > blame the Germans. If you lose your keys, blame the Germans. > 10. Bikes are public property. Locks are a challenge. > > > TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING BELGIAN > 1. You get to speak three languages, but none of them intelligibly. > 2. If other countries want to fight a war, they will do it in your > country. > 3. You can brew drinks out of fruit, and still call it beer. > 4. You are either > 4.a. Like the Dutch, just less efficient > 4.b. Like the French, just less romantic > 4.c. Like the Germans > 5. Decent fries. Real mayonnaise. Great chocolate. The best beer. > 6. No one knows anything about you, except for the Dutch and French and > they > make fun of you. > 7. More scandals in a week than any other country in a decade. > 8. You can drive like a maniac on the road and nobody cares. > 9. All your famous countrymen are either imaginary, or sex-offenders. > 10. Face it. It's not really a country, is it? > > > TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH > 1. When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay. > 2. Experience the joy of winning the World Cup for the first time. > 3. You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs. > 4. If there's a war you can surrender really early. > 5. You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on > Channel 4. > 6. You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries. > 7. You can be ugly and still become a famous film star. > 8. Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street > humiliating your sense of national pride. > 9. You don't have to bother with toilets, just @!#$ in the street. > 10. People think you're a great lover even when you're not. > > > TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN > 1. You can have a president without electing him. > 2. You can spell colour wrong and get away with it. > 3. You can call Budweiser beer. > 4. You can be a crook and still be president. > 5. If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything. > 6. If you can breathe you can get a gun. > 7. You get to be really obese. > 8. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody > seems to care. > 9. You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy". > 10. You can think you're the greatest nation on earth with condom on. > > > TOP TEN REASONS FOR BEING NORWEGIAN > 1. You get to pay the highest taxes in the world. > 2. You can kill baby seals and eat Rudolf the Reindeer. > 3. You live in total freezing darkness half the year and get 24-hour > ozone-hole radiation the other half. > 4. You can get capital punishment for smoking dope. > 5. You can go skiing in your knickers. > 6. You get to hate the Swedes and beat the Brazilians in football. > 7. You have to be a woman to get anywhere. > 8. You don't need to worry about land prices rocketing - it's fairly > spacious. > 9. When abroad you can impress people you meet with stories about > killing polar bears and shagging penguins - and they believe you. > 10. You can actually get bored with blondes. > > > TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH > 1. Two World Wars and One World Cup. > 2. Warm beer. > 3. You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket. > 4. You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events. > 5. Union jack underpants. > 6. Water shortages guaranteed every single summer. > 7. You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power. > 8. Bathing once a week - whether you need to or not. > 9. Ditto changing underwear. > 10. Beats being Welsh. > > > TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SCOTTISH > 1. You ain't English! > 2. You ain't English! > 3. You ain't English! > 4. You ain't English! > 5. You ain't English! > 6. You ain't English! > 7. You ain't English! > 8. You ain't English! > 9. You ain't English! > 10. You ain't English! > > > TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN > 1. In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes. > 2. Unembarrassed to wear fur. > 3. No need to worry about tax returns. > 4. Glorious military history prior to 400 AD. > 5. Can wear sunglasses inside. > 6. Political stability. > 7. Flexible working hours. > 8. Live near the Pope. > 9. Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair. > 10. Country run by Sicilian murderers. > > > TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH > 1. Glorious history of killing South American tribes. > 2. The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees. > 3. You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits, etc. > 4. The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans. > 5. Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it's the real thing. > 6. Honesty. > 7. Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight clothes > and risk your life in front of bulls. > 8. You get to eat bull's testicles. > 9. Gibraltar. > 10. Supported Argentina in Falklands War. > > > TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN > 1. > 2. > 3. > 4. > 5. > 6. > 7. > 8. > 9. > 10. > > > Ok, give them a second chance > 1. Oktoberfest. > 2. Okotberfest-beer. > 3. BMW. > 4. VW. > 5. Audi. > 6. Mercedes. > 7. On a highway you can travel at a speed that would bring you to > jail in any other country of the world. > 8. You do not have to learn German as a foreign language. > 9. You think Sauerkraut is delicious. > 10. Contrary to common belief, laughing is not forbidden by law (yet). > > > TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING INDIAN > 1. Chicken Madras. > 2. Lamb Passanda. > 3. Onion Bhaji. > 4. Bombay Potato. > 5. Chicken Tikka Masala. > 6. Rogan Josh. > 7. Popadoms. > 8. Chicken Dopiasa > 9. Kingfisher lager. > 10. Irritate everyone else by shaking your head when talking. > > > TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING WELSH > 1. You've got to be having a laugh, haven't you? > > > TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH > 1. Guinness. > 2. 18 children because you can't use contraceptives. > 3. You can get into a fight just by marching down someone's road. > 4. Pubs never close. > 5. Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed in second Vatican > Council of 1968 to persuade your girlfriend that you can't have sex > with a > condom on. > 6. No one can ever remember the night before. > 7. Kill people you don't agree with. > 8. Stew. > 9. More Guinness. > 10. Eating stew and drinking Guinness in an Irish pub at 3 in the > morning after a bout of sectarian violence. > > > TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN > 1. It beats being an American. > 2. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to > the ground. > 3. You can play ice hockey 12 months a year, outdoors. > 4. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to > the ground. > 5. Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe? > 6. A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity > ratings soar. > 7. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to > the ground. > 8. Kill Grizzly bears with huge shotguns and cover your house in > their skins. > 9. Own-an-Eskimo scheme. > 10. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital > to the ground. > > > TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AUSTRALIAN > 1. Know your great grand dad was a murdering bar steward that no > civilised nation on earth wanted. > 2. Fosters Lager. > 3. Dispossess Aborigines who have lived in your country for 40,000 > years because you think it belongs to you. > 4. Cricket captain not afraid to cry live on TV. > 5. Tact and sensitivity. > 6. Bondi Beach. > 7. Other beaches. > 8. Liberated attitude to homosexuals. > 9. Drinking cold lager on the beach. > 10. Having a bit of a swim and then drink some cold lager on the > beach. > > > TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GREEK > 1. You get to shout about your culture although the only real culture > most Greeks have is what is growing between their toes. > 2. The police are even more corrupt than the criminals they are > supposed to be chasing. > 3. You can blow your nose in the street by pinching it between the > thumb and forefinger and trumpeting forth without everyone around > retching > their stomach contents up at the sight. > 4. Old women can sport moustaches. > 5. Young women can sport moustaches. > 6. Men can be hairier than the average grizzly bear and not get put > in a zoo. > 7. You get to call the bouzouki a musical instrument when the rest of > the world sees it as an instrument of torture. > 8. You are the only nation to have lost its marbles and still wants > to let everyone else around the world know about it. > 9. Ridiculous bureaucracy. > 10. Nana Mouskouri and Demis Roussos. > > > [download a life] >
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