Chicks enjoy getting attention, and though it sucks, if they don't get it from who they should there are guys out there who will give it to them regardless of who they are attached to.
That said, if your wife is smart, which she is since she is married to a CA'er, she will realize this to be just a bump in the road and not something long term to go after. A married dude with three kids? That's such a real world anchor I can't imagine any woman looking past regardless whatever spiel he is selling.
Don't kill the guy either. It will do you no good. I know you didn't say anything about this, but I bet it has crossed your mind a lot (it did mine is a similar situation). If things somehow go bad and you are hurt over this for a long, long time...that's still way shorter than life in prison. And when you're 75 a girl breaking your heart won't mean anything.
But I think you'll win her love back. Just let her "figure out" that if this guy will do this to someone else and with 3 kids between them, why wouldn't he do it with her too later on?
Good luck, I'll pray for whoever the guy whose handles is n20carz.
And if you can burn the guy, do it. Turnabout is fairplay, let him reap what he's sowed.