Haven't told you all one of these stories in a while. I've been good for a while and that streak has to stop. There's this girl who is a total attention whore. She never shuts up, and is always complaining. So I worte her off, and she can't stand it. She went crying to my brother that I'm mean to her. All I really do is ignore her, and not take her shit.

My brother's girlfriend moved away for school. So I take him out for drinks to cheer him up. There's one place we always go because we know everybody, including the crazy chick. She happened to be there, and we took a few seats down at the bar. We would have sat at the other end, but it's too loud there when the band starts.

My brother was starting to cheer up after a few rounds, so we started this game we saw on Family Guy. I asked him "So who would you do? Britney Spears or Jessica Alba? Only Jessica Alba has been dead for 2 hours."
With crazy chick in earshot range her fires back "OK terrorist have captured your family. They say you have to fuck Hillary Clinton or 'Crazy Chick', or your family is dead!"
I replied back "EEEEWWWW SICK! Man I'd sure miss you bro". Then a shot glass flies past my ear, and nearly hits my brother. I spin around in time to dodge another glass flying right at me, and crazy chick is cursing at me like a marine.

Since she had nice tits the bartender asks us to leave. I told him "Jesus Christ have a sense of humor. Even horndog Bill wouldn't fuck Hillary." Then she threw another glass at me, this time hitting me in the shoulder, and spilling shit all over. Fucking bartender said I'm not allowed back for 30 days.