I just lost control of my bowels!

Let's get a system where Nintendo's primary goal is fucking off third party software and making games that haven't changed a single fucking ounce of their formula since they were released in the late nineties and charge full price for them for almost half a decade because they're the only fucking games worth buying in their whole shitty fucking library!!!

And you're going to be stupid enough to buy it again, fucktard. They're not innovators, they're assholes and they're making the videogaming world shitty. Their idea of the future of videogaming is fat people rug surfing on pieces of plastic, playing carnival games because they think it's going to help them avoid their inevitable diagnosis of diabetes and timely demise due to cardiac arrest.

Why am I so mad? Because I've been buying their shit for too long and the only way they can market there shit is to say, "HEY, IT'S FUCKING MARIO. YEAH, MARIO. YOU WILL BUY THIS STUPID FUCKING GAME BECAUSE I JUST SAID MARIO. HEY, IT'S THE 3DS. GUESS WHAT? WE'LL RE-RELEASE OCARINA OF TIME FOR THE MILLIONTH TIME BECAUSE YOU'RE A BRAINDEAD ZOMBIE WHO WILL KILL YOUR OWN OFFSPRING IF IT MEANT YOU COULD PLAY OCARINA OF TIME FOR 5 MINUTES. THEN IN 3 MONTHS WE'LL RE-RELEASE AGAIN EXCEPT THIS TIME WITH THE MASTER QUEST. HOLY FUCKING SHIT!"

Fuck Zelda, fuck Mario, fuck Nintendo.

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